


Breaking the Rules

by Perversions



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Camboy Keith, Dildos, M/M, SHEITH - Freeform, Webcam/Video Chat Sex, safe sex, thigh fucking, trans keith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-30 14:35:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10878828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Perversions/pseuds/Perversions
Summary: Keith knew that his money could bring in some money. He knew that if he did camshow's he could rake in some easy dough. And it worked.But there's always one donor who always went above and beyond just a couple of bucks: Black Lion.





	Breaking the Rules

**Author's Note:**

> a birthday fic for a very special person who's sweet and kind on twitter. ♥

Others would say that this was a waste of his talent and time. That there were jobs with a 9-5 schedule that would love to have him work for them. That what he was doing didn't give him that joy of doing a good day’s work.

Keith didn't give a rat's ass what they said.

What he did paid far more than any other job could ever try. All he had to do was spread his legs and touch himself for viewers to see. But what Keith does couldn't be called anything but _art_. Because there's so much more to just spreading his legs. It's how he touched himself and in what way and with what. Techniques that other patrons appreciated while others were up in the air about them.

This was _art_ and he was paid well for it.

Keith shuddered as his orgasm washed over him. He rolled his hips, rubbing himself against the bulge he made with his blankets. His tongue peeked out between his lips as he licked them, looking at the camera displaying him. He ran his hands down his sides and slid the tips of his fingers into his boy shorts. Comments poured in, complimenting him and saying how much of a good boy he was. That didn’t get him going as much as the donations that came in.

$10-$20 for such a good show. If he used one of the toys, he knew he would have gotten more. Today was an easy day, though. There was always another night to plunge something deep inside of him. Rising to sit on his knees, he chuckled as his juices soaked through his underwear. Keith brought his fingers down and rubbed against his oversensitive clit, pulling his hand away and bringing them up to his lips.

He swirled his tongue around his fingers and more donations poured in, followed by more comments. One donation stood out above the rest, remaining at the top of his donation pool. $200 stared right back at him. Since _Black Lion_ started watching his shows, he’s always received a generous donation. It didn’t matter what Keith did in his streams, _Black Lion_ always gave him that much.

Keith laid down on his stomach and moved his cursor over _Black Lion_ ' _s_ name and double clicked. The username was humorous and similar to Keith’s _Red Lion_. When he asked if he meant to match his, he was overwhelmed by the quick and honest answer that was yes.

 **Red Lion** : You’ll go broke if you keep donating this much to me.

 **Black Lion** : Money isn’t an issue for me, babydoll. Besides, for all you do, you deserve it. 

He twirled a lock of hair around his finger. This wasn’t the first time that he’s received a comment like this from him. He’s made sure to keep a different head space with comments. What he read was just sweet words and nothing more. They were not to be used as a way of flirting with him to try and win his affection over. Keith didn’t do this to obtain a relationship; he did it for money and nothing more.

 _Black Lion_ had paid for more than half his bills, though. Keith did shows four times a week and every time he donated $200. Without him, he couldn’t enjoy the luxuries of his life. The upgrades to his bike, the leather jackets he’s bought, the amount of _toys_ he’s bought because of _Black Lion’s_ generous donations. And every time, he always felt like doing more.

 **Red Lion** : Let me give you a private show. As thanks.

 **Black Lion** : That’s generous of you, but you don’t have to do that. I’m happy enough to spend this money on you.

Ugh. Why did he have to be so stubborn? Keith’s made the same offer before, and Black Lion turned it down.

 **Red Lion** : Do you ever treat yourself to anything?

 **Black Lion** : I always do when I see you.

 **Red Lion** : Ugh, you’re so cheesy. Come oooooooooooon. I’ll make it worth your while.

 **Black Lion** : I suppose I can’t turn down an offer like that. I have a request, though.

 **Red Lion** : Just remember that I’m allowed to deny anything I’m not comfortable with.

 **Black Lion** : I’m well aware. I only want to open up my mic and direct you. Nothing more.

Voice chatting? That wasn’t supported on the website. Keith would need to make an account for it, but he questioned if it was a good idea. It’s not like he’ll offer more shows after this. Although, it would be nice to have in case things do change. What was the harm that could come out of it?

 **Red Lion** : Give me twenty minutes.

 **Black Lion** : I’ll be waiting.

It took Keith exactly twenty minutes to set up a Skype account. When it was done, he contacted Black Lion and they exchanged usernames. He squirmed in his nest of pillows as he waited for him to come online. Was he excited? A little bit. Was he nervous? He was more than he was excited. What would Black Lion sound like? Keith hoped he had a nice voice. It would make this a little bit easier.

Black Lion popped online, making Keith jump out of his skin when he initiated contact.

 **Black Lion** : I’m glad you agreed to do this with me.

Keith took a deep breath and leaned forward to type.

 **Red Lion** : It’s the least I can do for my _biggest_ fan.

 **Black Lion** : What an honor! Are you ready? You can step out of this if you want to. I don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.

 **Red Lion** : I’m okay with this. Really, I am.

 **Black Lion** : Alright then. I’m starting the call.

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t jump at the call going through. With a beating heart and shaking fingers, he accepted it. It was strange seeing just him alone and not seeing the other person behind the screen. This was the arrangement, though. Keith wouldn’t ask for anything more.

_“How are you holding up, baby? Is this arrangement still okay?”_

_Holy shit_ his voice was _amazing_. Keith moved back to his nest, draping his arms over the top. He needed something to distract himself from how great it sounded. It was too early to say, but he might be already wet from his voice alone. “Your voice certainly helps. I think you might have me under some sort of spell.”

Black Lion chuckled. Keith swore that something sparked inside him. Something excited and amazed all at once. _“That’s not good. If you’re under my spell, you might not be able to perform for your cam shows. I’d be robbing so many people of a delightful thing.”_

“Sucks to be them, then,” Keith answered. He raised his hand and twirled a piece of hair around his finger. “So, _Black Lion_ , do you have anything special in mind for this?”

 _“Actually, I do.”_ There was a shuffling sound on the other end. _“There’s this one toy you got just a few weeks ago. Take it out, if you don’t mind.”_

Oh, he knew exactly which one. Keith moved to the edge of the bed and laid down flat. He reached underneath and pulled out his specially locked box. Commissioned by a good friend, it stored most, if not all, of the sex toys he used for his shows. They were in good reach under the bed and no one else but him could unlock it if he wasn’t home or if he had guests over.

Finding the toy quickly, he hurried off to the kitchen to give it a quick clean and ran back to the room. Keith climbed onto the bed and waved the toy in front of the camera, the silicone wiggling from the force. “You mean this toy?”

Black Lion groaned on the other end, a soft sound that had Keith shuddering. _“Yeah, that’s the one.”_

“You know you basically paid for this, right?” Keith moved back to his pillows and leaned back. The dark purple dildo had been on his “to buy” list for a while. Eight inches and with ridges that held promises to tease him in all the right places. And, _boy,_ did it _deliver_. It was the best purchase that he’s ever made.

 _“I know. That’s why I love it the most.”_ Another shuffling sound. _“You should use it more often.”_

“I should do a lot of things.” Keith moved further down the pillows, resting the dildo across his stomach. His hands ran down his sides and toyed with the hem of his underwear. He hooked his thumbs in the fabric, ready to pull them down.

 _“I didn’t say you can take those off, did I?”_ Black Lion asked and it sent another shudder through his body. _“I like them better on you. Go ahead and start touching yourself, baby. Let’s get that cunt nice and wet for this.”_

Keith groaned but obeyed. He moved one arm above his head while his other hand came down to toy with his clit. His clit was nice and hard beneath his fingers. He moved them around in small, teasing circles around the enlarged bud. A soft moan left him and he spread his legs wider, showing his actions to the camera. The soft groan that came from his speakers fueled the fire starting in the pit of his stomach.

_“Look at you go. You always look good like this, baby.”_

_Shit_ , Keith didn’t know how much longer he could take hearing his voice. There were nice voices, and then there were _really_ nice voices. Black Lion just happened to have a _really_ nice voice that had Keith wishing he could record it. There’s no doubt in the back of his mind that he would touch himself often to the sound of his voice. The idea had him working his clit more, his teasing circles becoming more vigorous.

_“Is this my kitten’s way of saying that he’s ready for more?”_

Damn him. How dare he have this voice that affected him like this? Keith dumbly nodded his head, his gaze cast towards his ceiling.

 _“Look at me when you do this, kitten.”_ Keith forced his gaze to the camera, his chest rising and falling. _“Pull your panties to the side. Let me see how filthy you got down there.”_ It’s a suggestion he’s read plenty of times before, but hearing it was ten times dirtier. Black Lion groaned when he did so, a fragile strand of his wetness breaking off the connection from his underwear to his cunt. _“Look at you… You’re beautiful.”_

Keith let out a whimper that sounded downright lewd. He brought his other hand down to his cunt, pushing the pad of his finger inside. His hips bucked against the touch, but he didn’t press it any further. He wasn’t told he could use his fingers just yet.

_“Are you desperate to feel something inside you, kitten? Go ahead and do it. Push a finger inside.”_

His body shook as he obeyed, pushing just his index finger inside him. He clenched around the digit, wishing it was something bigger inside him. But without an order, he had to wait for it.

_“Do you want another finger inside?”_

“Yes...” Keith whimpered, bucking his hips against his hand.

_“Go ahead, then. You deserve it. Open yourself nice and wide for that toy.”_

The second finger was inside him before Shiro gave him the actual permission. Keith hooked his two fingers inside him, pressing into the spot that had him seeing stars. He bucked harder against his hand, tossing his head back. Black Lion lavished him with praises as he worked himself open. He moaned out as he moved his fingers faster inside him. He needed more than just this to get off. He wanted it so badly.

_“One more finger, baby. Do it now.”_

“Oh…” Keith’s moan was a shaky sound that he didn’t believe came out of him. The third finger filled him just enough, but he still craved for _more_.

_“You look so needy like this… I think I like you like this more than when you get straight to it in your streams.”_

“Is that--hah--so?” Keith asked. He looked up and stared into the camera. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. A groan came from his laptop and he spread his legs even wider.

_“That’s right, baby. Open yourself nice and wide for what’s coming. Do you think you’re ready for it?”_

Keith’s body shook, a shudder that had his toes curling. “Oh, god, _yes_. Please let me use the toy. _Please_.” He hadn’t meant to ask like that. His voice was as shaky as his body, cracking on the last syllable.

 _“Go ahead, baby. Put it in_ **_nice_ ** _and_ **_slow_ ** _for me.”_

Pulling his fingers out, he took the dildo and teased himself with the tip. He pushed it in and pulled it back out. Black Lion groaned, his words a mumbled mess as Keith continued to tease. Keith pushed it in another inch and then another, his walls clenching around it. With it all the way in, he sunk impossibly further into his pillows.

_“Does that feel good?”_

“ _Yes_.” Keith thrust the dildo into him slowly, pulling it out only a fraction before pushing it back in. It felt _way_ too good. Hearing Black Lion moan for him just fueled the wildfire that started in his stomach.

_“Go ahead and make yourself feel good some more, baby. Let me see how you do it.”_

Keith happily pulled the toy out until just the tip was in. He bit his lip, pushing it back in. The ridges rubbed against him in all the right places. Each inch inside him had his hips lifting off the bed, the heels of his feet pushing into the bed. “Ah, _yes_ , this feels _so_ good…”

 _“I bet it does.”_ Black Lion groaned, a sound that had Keith wishing he was there to hear. _“I can only imagine how you’d feel around a hard cock in you. Your cunt clenching around my dick, nails dragging down my back,_ **_fuck_** _.”_

Oh, Keith could imagine it. He always had this image of what Black Lion looked like since the start of his generous donations. His imagination helped him throughout those tough shows where he needed a little push to get wet. Keith would think about Black Lion and read his comments, getting himself right where he needed to be.

_“Go ahead and ride it, baby. I love seeing you like that.”_

Keith held the toy deep inside to collect himself. Slowly, he moved to his knees and rode the toy. Black Lion hadn’t told him to go any faster. He still had him teasing himself and he wanted nothing more to go _harder_.

Closing his eyes, he turned his face to the ceiling, soft moans dropping from his lips. “Please, let me fuck myself some more.”

Black Lion chuckled. He sounded _wrecked_ and out of breath. _“I think you deserve it. Fuck yourself harder like a good boy.”_

Holy _shit_ that sounded good. That sounded _really_ good. Keith rose and fell on the toy, hitting all the spots that made him see stars. Black Lion continued to moan and praise him, his words kindling the fire that blazed and burned his insides.

How would he feel if he was here with Keith? Where would his hands be? Just how _rough_ would he be and would he go further if Keith asked him? _Shit_ , he’s never fantasized about a client before, but _wow_ , it was doing wonders for him. If he’d bend him over any surface and take him wherever and whenever, Keith wouldn’t complain.

Those thoughts alone had Keith cumming, his body arching back, his hips twisting to draw out his orgasm. That was the best one he had all night. From his computer, he could hear Black Lion cumming, his voice a feral growl that he wished he could hear right in his ear. He had such a nice voice. 

Black Lion’s heaving breath pulled him back to the present. He chuckled and Keith swore he could feel his breath against his ear. _“That was a wonderful show, Keith. Thank you. … You’re so beautiful for me…”_

Keith couldn’t explain the feeling inside him. He didn’t belong to no one but himself. But that _sounded_ nice. He didn’t hate it and he wouldn’t mind if Black Lion had said things like that more often. “Glad you liked it. See you at the next stream?”

_“You know I’ll be there. Have a good night.”_

He bit his lip, but his smile bled through it. “Good night.”

* * *

 

“When do I get to see what you look like?” Keith asked. Once more, he was leaned back on his pillows, twirling a piece of hair around his finger. He had expected Black Lion to stop donating after his first private showing with him. But money kept coming in and he continued to do a show for him after his public ones. Keith didn’t mind. In fact, he enjoyed doing them.

Black Lion chuckled and Keith was ready to spread his legs open wide for him from the sound alone. _“That’s not how it works, baby.”_

He liked it when he played hard to get. Keith moved to his hands and knees. He pouted, doing his best to give him a sad look. “Not even a little peak? Pretty please?”

The groan he heard had Keith wishing to hear more of his sounds. _“You just had to go ahead and beg, huh? Knowing that I can’t resist? Oh_ **_no_ ** _… Give me a bit then, baby.”_

Excitement hummed through him. Keith sat back and hugged a pillow to his chest. Would he be just like he imagined him? Maybe he would look even better. His imagination got the better of him and he sunk further in his pillows. Oh, he couldn’t wait. Keith needed to see him _now_.

Skype dinged with a message and Keith’s head shot up. _“That’s all I can give you, baby,”_ Black Lion said.

Keith downloaded the picture quicker than a rocket.

Oh.

_Oh._

_That’s_ what he looked like? And he spent his time watching _Keith’s_ stream? _Holy shit._ Those were washboard abs he was seeing. Washboard _abs_ with scars that littered his chest and stomach.

_“Your jaw has been open for about five minutes. Is that some drool I’m seeing?”_

Keith snapped his mouth shut. “You’re ah… I have no words.”

Black Lion chuckled. _“It’s not every day that I make someone speechless. … I_ **_might_ ** _have one other body shot for you. If you want it.”_

“Do you know my answer?” Keith asked, tilting his head.

_“I suppose that’s a yes if I ever did hear one. Another moment, then.”_

Shit, he was getting wet. Keith pressed his thighs together and squirmed. He needed something in him _right now_. Skype pinged again and he jumped on downloading it. He knew he looked eager on camera, but he couldn’t help himself. The picture saved and he opened it even quicker.

If he was drooling before, his mouth had become a faucet.

This was Black Lion’s dick. This was his _dick_ and he was _fisting_ it. He was _big._ Keith finally looked at the file’s name: _thinking of you._  

He chewed on his lip, unable to keep himself from smiling. “Is that so?”

 _“Too often,”_ Black Lion responded. His voice sound rough and low, like he was touching himself already. _“I think about your streams and your body. How you’re such a good boy and the way you take orders so well. How beautiful you look when you’re touching yourself or grinding hard on something.”_

“Oh, fuck.” Keith spread his legs wide and pressed his fingers to his underwear. He was soaking wet. He slipped his fingers into his underwear, the pair that he _knew_ Black Lion liked the _most_. His fingers glided through his folds and he groaned. “You know… I don’t have a gag reflex.”

He groaned. _“Don’t tell me that… Oh,_ **_God_ ** _, don’t tell me that…”_

Keith licked his lips. Taking his hand out of his panties, he moved to the edge of the bed. He searched for the biggest toy he had and pulled it out. He moved closer to the laptop. Licking the tip, he kept his gaze on his camera. He took the toy deep into his mouth, the tip sliding down his throat.

 _“_ ** _Shit_ ** _, baby, I can’t believe you took it all in.”_

He pulled his mouth off with a wet pop. “I wish it was you, though…” 

_“ **Fuck** , Keith…”_

Keith sat back and moved the toy down between his legs. He pulled his underwear aside and rubbed the tip through his wet folds. “I’ve been wondering what kind of person you would be in the bedroom. If you would pin my arms behind my back and fuck me like an animal…”

Black Lion groaned. _“I would. I’d tangle my hand in your hair and pull you back into my thrusts. Fuck, Keith, I’ve thought about you so much and the things I would do to you… Easing you down my fat cock and letting you ride me without the use of your hands. Letting you do all the work and putting on a show for me.”_

“I’d make it good, too,” Keith responded. He thrust the toy in and out of him, faster and harder until it was on the verge of hurting. “I’d ride your fat cock good and hard until we were both sore the next day. Your cum filling me up until I was ready to burst. I’d want you to cum inside me so badly…”

Keith couldn’t explain the kind of sound Black Lion let out. It had his body shaking, his eyes closing at the sound of his heavy breathing coming in through his computer’s speakers. He opened his eyes at Skype’s alert sound. Another picture. He could only imagine what it could be.

Holding the toy at its base to keep it inside him, Keith shifted until he could save the image. Opening it, he bit back a groan at the sight. Black Lion’s spent cock in his left hand, cum on his stomach and sweat dotting his skin.

“Oh, I wouldn’t waste a single drop if I was there…”

_“Oh…?”_

“Mhm…” Keith rose to his knees and fucked himself down on the toy. “I’d lick it up from your skin and swallow it down. Fuck yes, I want you to fuck my mouth until my throat was raw… Have me choke on your cock until my eyes rolled to the back of my head.”

He was so close now. Black Lion was still breathing heavily, soft groans coming through. Maybe he was touching himself again. That idea had Keith riding his toy harder, the ridges getting him in all the right places that he enjoyed.

 _“Keep going, baby,”_ Black Lion said, his voice rough. _“Just imagine it’s my cock, hitting you nice and deep.”_

That did it. Holy _shit,_ that did it. Keith cummed _hard_ around the toy, his body arching back as he squirted on the bed. It’s been so long since he’s cummed like this. He fell back on his bed, the toy slipping out of him. That felt so _good_ , so _fucking good_.

 _“I can’t believe you can squirt… Hooooly sh--”_ Black Lion exhaled hard. _“I wish I could eat you out until you squirted in my mouth.”_

Keith chuckled, moving up to his elbows. “That would be fun…”

 _“Yeah...”_ He cleared his throat. _“This was a wonderful session. Thank you, baby. I don’t know what I did to deserve this, but I’m glad that I’m treated so kindly by you.”_

“I’m returning the same kindness that you’ve shown to me.”

_“You deserve it.”_

“Mm.” Keith tucked a piece of hair behind his ear. “I should get to bed. Have a good night.”

_“Sleep well, baby. I hope you have a good day tomorrow. See you then?”_

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Black Lion’s chuckle was the last thing he heard before the Skype call ended.

Keith fell back on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. Something inside him had splintered apart. The sharp pieces stabbed into his heart until he bled, his chest rising and falling with his heavy breathing. The reality of the situation was too hard to comprehend, but it’s there and maybe it’s been there the whole time. Quietly whispering to him at the end of every session until he understood what it meant.

He _liked_ him. He liked him so much and he always had. Keith wanted to ignore the feeling that bubbled in his chest. He wanted to ignore how much it hurt when they stopped chatting with each other in the dead hours of the night. He wanted to ignore how badly he wanted Black Lion to be next to him, holding him close as they slept.

Keith had no idea what he should do.

* * *

The doorbell woke him up. Keith sat up in bed, his covers tossed aside and his pillows on the floor. He ran a hand down his face and stepped out of bed. Pulling on a pair of shorts, he padded to the door, the doorbell ringing once more. He unlocked the two locks and threw the door open, ready to yell at the person on the other side.

Hunk smiled at him and Keith’s anger evaporated. “Oh, hey, Hunk. I forgot you were coming over so early.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Hunk answered, stepping into the apartment when Keith moved aside. “I know you work late.”

Keith returned his smile. They walked to the bedroom and Hunk immediately went to what Keith liked to call “The Toy Wheel.” He had commissioned Hunk to make it months ago and it’s been a wonderful tool in most of his streams. If he or his viewers couldn’t decide on a toy for him to use, he’d spin it and let the wheel decide. Keith didn’t have to use it often, but it was used enough that it had become loose and on the verge of falling apart.

“Thanks for coming by to fix it, Hunk. I should have called you for it weeks ago, to be honest,” Keith said, climbing onto the bed and tucking his legs under him.

“It’s cool. It’s not your fault I have a busy schedule.” Hunk reached into his tool belt and started to work on tightening the wheel. “How’s your ‘mysterious’ patron, by the way? Is he still paying out the nose for you?”

Keith bit his lip. Hunk knew well about his cam shows and how he paid for his bills and expenses. He was one of the few of his friends who hadn’t judged him for it. “Actually… I’ve started doing private cam shows for him.”

Hunk stared at him, his eyes wide. Concern was laced through his gaze. “Keith, are you--”

He waved his hands, trying to wave away Hunk’s worry. “No, no, no, it’s okay. It’s safe. I just…” Keith groaned and buried his face in his hands. “I don’t know what to do, Hunk. I… I _like_ him. I like him _a lot_. Every time we finish a private show, I just want to keep talking to him and learn more _about_ him and stay up the rest of the night with him.”

Keith’s breath was heaving at the end of his speech. He rubbed at his eyes, banishing tears that he hadn’t realized were there. It felt good to let someone else know about it. Even if he still sat with a conundrum, he didn’t need to bear it alone.

Hunk’s strong hands were on his shoulders. He looked at him, Hunk kneeling down so that they were at eye level. How many times had he calmed Keith down like this? They were friends for years and Hunk always managed to find a way to ground Keith to the present. He always found a way to get him to focus on what was best for him.

“You’re really hung up on this guy, huh?” Hunk asked. He chewed his lip, searching Keith’s eyes.

Keith knew what he was going to say before he even said it. But Hunk wouldn’t mumble a word of what Hunk was thinking. It happened every time Keith found himself a little bit attached to a patron from his shows. Leave it to Hunk and his puppy eyed look to make Keith realize why he started doing all this.

“I can’t do it, Hunk. That’s not what I’m here for. That’s not why I _do_ this.”

Hunk lifted his hands in defeat. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to push Keith into anything that might actually be good for him. “Okay, okay.” He stood up and went back to work.

Keith let out a small sound of regret and lowered his head. He hadn’t meant to sound cruel, but he knew he sounded that way. He never wanted to be rude or mean to Hunk, but that’s _exactly_ what he did. Shifting in his seat, he became irritated with himself and stood up. Walking up behind Hunk, he wrapped his arms around his middle and buried his face in his shoulder.

“I’m sorry…” Keith mumbled.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Hunk answered. He patted at Keith’s arm. “I’m all done here. Wanna go get some brunch so you can decide what to do about your mystery patron?”

Keith pulled back, smiling at him. “Sure. Why not.”

Brunch did _not_ help him decide what to do. The obvious choice sat beside him during his time with Hunk. Every now and then, it’d elbow him in the side, forcing him to pay attention to it. It was saying “I’m here and you know what to do with me.” And Keith would acknowledge it until he turned his attention back to Hunk, who looked at him with more concern and worry. What would he do without a friend like him?

That night was when he planned on putting things in motion. It had to happen now before it got worse. It had to happen tonight or Keith will continue to imagine what a life with Black Lion would be like beyond their private cam showings. He hadn’t meant to be so tangled up with him. He hadn’t meant to use his voice and his body as a way to fuel his desire during his public showings.

But he did and that’s what made it hard to handle. Because he _liked_ Black Lion so much and his heart wanted to run away from the confines of his rib cage to seek a better host, maybe someone who would treat it better. Keith wouldn’t blame it if it did. He didn’t deserve a heart if he was going to do this to Black Lion. He didn’t deserve **_Black Lion_ ** at all.

During his stream, Keith did his best to pretend that things were normal. He pretended that his heart wasn’t shattering like an expensive vase on tile. Just act confident, show them what they came for, have a jaw dropping orgasm (with the help of Black Lion’s body shot in his head), and then say goodnight to all his other patrons.

And then hop on Skype to let it all break apart.

Keith crossed his arms under himself and rest his chin on top of them. Black Lion appeared online and started the call. Briefly, he hesitated. If he didn’t answer the call, he didn’t have to do this. He could just sit back and live in this fantasy that he didn’t have to paint over. He could just live like this forever.

He still answered the call.

_“I was starting to get worried. Are you feeling all right?”_

Keith tucked a piece of hair behind his ear, his computer image doing the same. “I’m alright. Just a little... “ He shouldn’t let this linger. He should just do it fast like a band-aid. “I can’t continue these streams anymore…” The words were like tar in his throat. They spilled out of him, darkening his sheets into a stain that only he could seen.

Black Lion didn’t say anything for some time. Keith feared that he disappeared. He feared that he left while leaving the call open and for some reason he couldn’t handle that if it were true.

_“Did I do something wrong? I hope I didn’t upset you with anything. That’s… that’s the last thing I wanted you to do.”_

No one is this perfect. Who would _care_ about Keith’s feelings after viewing tons of his shows where he had a toy deep inside him? Actually, who would care about _any_ camboy’s feelings?

Keith ran his fingers through his hair. “You didn’t do anything. It’s my own fault. I just… I got stuck in my own head, that’s all.”

The silence was too much. Keith felt like he could hear everything. The fly buzzing around in the kitchen, the neighbors two apartments down arguing over who ate the last bit of tuna, a cat mewling a couple of blocks away. He could hear it all and it bothered him so much because it’s not what he wanted to hear. He wanted to hear Black Lion speaking to him. He wanted to hear his gruff voice giving him orders until it was hoarse with a moan that Keith would remember for days.

“Let’s… let’s start the show, okay?” Keith finally said, sitting up on his knees.

 _“Y… yeah, yeah, sure.”_ Black Lion’s voice sounded so heartbroken and Keith wished he could take it all back. _“Can I… ask for something? Something specific for this last show?”_

That sounded harmless enough. Keith would do anything for him to ease this process better. For both of them. “Sure, anything.”

 _“‘Shiro’…”_ Black Lion took a deep breath and let it out slowly. _“Can you say that when you cum? Maybe… throughout the show when you’re talking to me?”_

A name. An actual, _fucking_ name. A name that Keith knew he would say to himself during his other streams and when he’s alone. He thought back to his body shot and bit his lip. It fit him perfectly. “Not a problem. Any other special requests?”

 _“Use only your hands for this one,”_ Black Lion said. Keith couldn’t believe that he could actually _hear_ the smile in his voice. _“I know it takes a little longer for you, but… I want this to last for as long as possible. A nice, long stream to say goodbye with. Hm?”_

Keith teased at the hem of his underwear, the same kind of panties that Black Lion--no, Shiro--liked the most. He’d wear them every so often during their streams and it felt fitting to wear them for the last show. He moved his fingers to his cunt and rubbed small circles around around his clit. “I think I can do that.”

_“Then take them off, lay back, and spread your legs wide for me, baby.”_

He obliged, keeping the underwear wrapped around one of his ankles. Leaning back on an elbow, he brought his hand down and paid attention to his enlarged clit once again. “I think you like this more than when I have something big inside me.”

Shiro groaned. _“I do. I love watching you prepare yourself for it. Sometimes I wonder if you’d put this much of a show if I were there with you.”_

Keith licked his lips. “I’d rather have _you_ doing it.” He moved his fingers lowered and teased at his hole. “Your thick fingers thrusting into me, making me nice and wet for that big cock of yours…”

Another groan and Keith had a finger slipping into him. _“I wonder how tight you are. Your toys are so big, but--”_

“You’d need to get me nice and wet for you.” He slipped another finger inside himself and curled them. The action had him moaning and a sound came from his laptop. “That’s how I get off on my public streams, you know.”

_“Fuck… Do you really?”_

Nodding his head, Keith pressed a third finger in. “I think about how you’d slip behind and pin me to your chest. Your big hands going down my chest and stomach and teasing at my clit. Your fingers slipping through my wetness and always on the verge of teasing me. The moment you slip a finger in me, I _lose_ it and I want _more_ of you inside me…”

Shiro’s chuckle was breathy and rough, sending chills up Keith’s spine. _“Damn, and I would, too. I’d give you anything that you wanted, baby. My fingers, my mouth, my **dick** , whatever you’d want, baby, you can have it...”_

“Tell me more,” Keith said, tossing his head back. And Shiro wasn’t here to listen to Keith’s orders, but he wanted to hear it. He wanted to hear exactly what Shiro would do to him if he were beside him.

 _“I would pin you down by your hips and eat you out. Nice and slow until you were begging for me to stop, but I wouldn’t. I’d keep going, and going, and_ **_going_ ** _until I knew you couldn’t take it any longer.”_ Shiro groaned. _“Even after all that, I still wouldn’t give you my cock yet. I’d just give you my fingers and finger you until you were oversensitive.”_

Keith could imagine it so clearly. Shiro in between his legs, working him to a rolling orgasm that wouldn’t end. “Yes, yes…!” He pressed his fingers deep inside him, curling them and spreading himself open like he was about to take his cock in him. “I’d suck your cock, get it nice and sloppy wet with spit and precum.”

 _“_ ** _Fuck_ ** _, tell me more, Keith…”_

“I wouldn’t let you inside me just yet, either. I’d rub against your cock, letting the head press against my clit. _Shit_ , I could cum from that alone. Your thick, hard cock rubbing against me.” Keith removed his fingers and toyed with his clit again, his legs shaking. Shit, he wanted something bigger inside him. It was so hard to cum from his fingers alone. “Shiro, please… I need something bigger in me…”

 _“Baby, you can do this,”_ Shiro said. _“I know you can. Look at how wet you are, dripping down your thighs and onto your sheets. I bet you taste so good. I can’t stop thinking about it.”_

Keith pulled his fingers out and brought them to his lips. He swirled his tongue around them, enjoying the way Shiro sounded when he did so. “I’d think you’d enjoy it.” He brought his fingers back to his cunt and pushed three in.

 _“Shit, you’re_ **_killing_ ** _me, Keith.”_ Shiro’s breath became heavier and he softly groaned. _“I’m almost there, baby. Think you’ll be able to cum with me?”_

He could feel himself teetering on the very edge, but he needed a push. Keith needed that one big push to help him fall into a state of bliss. “I-I think so, Shiro… Just, oh, tell me some more. Speak to me, baby…”

 _“After I get you nice and wet for me, I’d flip you over onto your stomach. Get you up on your knees but pin your head down with my hand in your hair. My cock rubbing against your folds until I_ **_finally_ ** _get the tip in and that’s all. Just push in and out with just the tip until you begged for me to give it all to you. And I would in one,_ **_hard_ ** _thrust that has you crying out loudly.”_

Oh, _fuck_ , that is what he needed. Keith’s leg twitched and he spasmed around his fingers. “Keep going, _please_ …”

 _“I wouldn’t even take it slow with you. With how far along I’ve gotten you, dripping wet and clenching around me, we wouldn’t be able to_ **_handle_ ** _a slow pace. I’d take you hard and fast, listening to you cry out my name and beg for me to go harder and faster, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. Your cunt spasming around me--Fuck, shit, Keith, I--”_

“Me, too, Shiro… You feel so good inside me.” Keith tossed his head back, digging his teeth into his lower lip. He could feel it. Shiro’s hand in his hair and on his hip as he pounded into him. “Oh, Shiro… Shiro…!”

 _“_ **_Keith…_ ** _”_

Keith clenched around his fingers, his body spasming. He kicked his leg out, narrowly avoiding his laptop. Words couldn’t describe what he was feeling right now. This orgasm was like fireworks that exploded through his body and made his toes curl, his body arching until the colored spots disappeared from his eyes. This was so much more _intimate_ , better even.

He fell back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. The hollow feeling snuck up on him and dragged him back down into his harsh reality. This would be the last show he’d do for Black Lion. They wouldn’t speak to each other ever again after this.

Sitting up on his elbows, he listened to Black Lion’s heavy breathing, trying not to think about how much he’d miss it. “That was…” Keith started, trying to find the right words to say.

 _“Amazing…”_ Black Lion said, his voice rough and out of breath. He cleared his throat. _“Thank you for this, Keith. You’re beautiful and… this was fun and amazing. I don’t know what else to say…”_

Keith sat up fully, running his fingers through his hair. “It was… I had a lot of fun with you and these shows.” He was too afraid to ask him, but he needed to know. Even if he couldn’t do these shows anymore, he still _wanted_ Black Lion’s attention. He wanted to know that he’d still be there for the other showings. “Will I… see you tomorrow?”

Black Lion chuckled. _“I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Have a good night, Keith. And, once again, thank you for… for everything…”_

“It was my pleasure…”

The call ended and Keith took a deep, shaking breath. Grief gripped his insides, ripping them apart with its inky black claws. This was for the best, he told himself. This was for the best and Keith did his best to convince himself that it was true. He reached up and closed his laptop with shaky hands.

The walls of the apartment were constricting now. Everywhere he looked, it seemed like they were coming closer and closer to him. Keith wrapped his arms around himself and hunched over. He took deep calming breaths but they did nothing. He heaved, his stomach doing cartwheels as he did his best to calm down. His hand moved along his bed and to the nightstand, he fumbled with his phone, nearly dropping it until he pulled it close.

His vision was blurry as he tried to type in a phone number. He blinked and opened them wide, his vision coming into focus like a telescope. Keith put in Hunk’s number and brought the phone to his ear. The phone rang twice before Hunk’s calming voice came in. “Hunk, can you come--”

No. He couldn’t have Hunk come to his apartment. Keith didn’t want to _be_ in his own apartment right now. He needed to get out before the walls crushed him into a pulp.

“Keith? Keith, are you still there? Are you okay?”

Keith licked his lips. “Y-yeah, I am. Just… Can I come over?”

* * *

 

Black Lion still donated to Keith’s streams.

Every time Keith turned the camera on, $200 was donated at the very beginning. He didn’t check if he stayed around for the entire show. He was terrified to see if he left the room. Instead, he imagined that Black Lion was still there, watching every move that he was making.

Then the donations came less and less until they eventually stopped coming. It all happened in the span of six months. Winter fell upon him as gently as the snow that started to fall. The world outside his apartment was as cold as his own being and he felt like tiny icicles were attached to his heart. Lance and Pidge told him that he was doing the right thing. Hunk remained indifferent, but Keith knew what he was thinking.

He was thinking that Keith should contact Black Lion and talk to him. That they should both have a heart to heart talk because he was the only one who saw the underlying attraction the two of them had for each other.

Keyword: _had_.

Keith was sure that Black Lion didn’t have any attraction to him. Maybe it was his personality that turned him off. Maybe it was because he ended his private showings with him. Maybe Black Lion was one of those people who thought that someone owed him something if he did something nice for him or her. It was possible. Keith didn’t know anything else about him other than he had a nice body and an amazing looking dick.

Did Keith still have feelings for Black Lion? It pained him to admit that he still did.

Keith’s feelings for Black Lion were like a blazing fire that died into embers. He still liked him. He couldn’t deny it any longer, but what could he do? It was clear that he had cut all ties to Keith and wanted nothing else to do with him. It was a hard pill to swallow.

And the best way to swallow it was to take a break from his cam shows.

“What kind of pizza do you want to order?” Keith asked, signing into his account.

“Whatever you want, buddy,” Hunk said from his floor. “Do you want me to leave the room while you do that?”

Keith had thought about it, but he shook his head. “Nah, it’s fine. I’m just letting everyone know that I’m going to be gone for a month or so. It’s just an easy email.” And like that it was done, a mass message sent out to all his watchers. He pushed his laptop aside and leaned over to Hunk. “Want bacon on it?”

Hunk smiled up at him. “You know the way to my heart.”

Halfway through their extra large pizza, lounging across his bed while a terrible horror movie played, was when they heard something ringing. They paused the movie and checked their phones, their curiosity growing stronger. Keith turned to his laptop and jumped out of his skin. He pressed against Hunk and stared at the words written across the screen.

Black Lion was calling him. _Black Lion was calling him through Skype_.

He hadn’t meant to remain online. It slipped his mind that he should have done it after his last show with him, but he never did. Maybe he was hoping that it would be used as a way for them to connect with each other again. It was a hope that was fragile as ice and could have broken into pieces.

But it didn’t and this was happening.

Skype pinged again with a message this time.

 **Black Lion** : Please answer the call. Please.

Keith didn’t look at Hunk for advice. He knew what he would want him to do. With shaky fingers, he answered the next call, keeping the video option off. He took in a deep breath that was just as shaky as his hands. “Hello...?”

 _“Hey…”_ Keith missed his voice. _Holy shit_ , he missed his voice _so much_ . _“This is going to sound crazy and I know it will, but… I_ **_miss_ ** _you. I miss you_ **_a lot_ ** _and I don’t mean in the shows we had together. I mean…_ **_you_ ** _. I miss_ **_you_ ** _and the kind of person that you are.”_ Shiro’s voice wavered as he took a deep breath in. _“Since we ended our time together, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you and I needed to step away from your streams. If I didn’t, I knew I would have done something like this._

 _“So, I did and it_ **_didn’t_ ** _help. That’s the only reason I stopped coming to your streams. I needed a break to ween myself off you and I couldn’t stay away. I…”_ Another shaky inhale that had Keith holding his own breath. _“I can’t tell you right now how I feel, but… I want to see you. I_ **_need_ ** _to see you. Not through a computer screen, but in_ **_person_** _.”_

Keith’s head was swimming. The whole time, he sat with his knees to his chest, his arms wrapped around them. He drowned in Shiro’s words, dragged down in a sea of affection and care. His throat constricted and hurt. He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t even _move_.

 _“Keith…”_ Shiro called out to him. _“Keith, please talk to me…”_

He found his voice, but he didn’t know what to say. Keith cleared his throat. “I’m flattered that you feel that way, but…”

_“But...?”_

Why was he hesitating? Keith’s been wanting this for so long. “Okay. I’ll… I’ll meet up with you...”

 _“Really?”_ Shiro asked.

“Really...?” Hunk whispered behind him, so quietly that Keith wasn’t sure if he said anything at all.

“Yeah, really.”

Phone numbers had been exchanged and so were the details of their meeting place. The call ended and Keith let out the biggest breath he had ever held. He couldn’t feel the tips of his fingers and his heart was fluttering like a bird desperate to escape its cage. Slowly, he looked over his shoulder at Hunk.

Hunk had his arms crossed, a pout on his lips. For once, Keith didn’t know what he was thinking. “Please talk to me, Hunk…”

He breathed hard through his nose. “Honestly, I feel like you should have asked me about meeting him in person, but…” Hunk smiled and Keith felt a little better about his decision, “I think you should go for it and see him. _With_ me supervising from afar.”

Keith hopped up to his knees and wrapped his arms around Hunk’s shoulders. He did it to ground himself as much as to thank him. This was going to happen and he couldn’t hang on to one emotion that he was feeling.

Joy, excitement, fear, nervousness, the idea that maybe this was bad and he was probably going to return home in a bodybag. But he wanted to see him. Keith wanted to see Shiro badly and he wanted to meet him. Even if things didn’t go well, even if things didn’t go as well as Keith hoped, he met Shiro at the very least. It would be the start of what he hoped would be his recovering process.

“Should I wear something that shows off how _great_ my ass is?” Keith asked, trying to break the tension.

“ _Keith_.”

  
  
  


The fated day arrived and he was highly aware of it. He was aware of it because he hardly slept during the days leading up to it. Hunk stayed at his apartment to make sure that he attempted sleep and ate something. If he was going to meet someone he liked, it wouldn’t be wise to show up looking like the Grim Reaper was ready to take him.

Keith sat in one of the outside dining seats of Spiced Chai Coffee. It was cold and he was the only one sitting there, but the cold didn’t bother him. It was still too surreal that this was happening. At first, it shocked him to learn that Shiro lived in the same city as him. Shiro offered to buy him a plane ticket so that they could meet halfway, but clearly none of that was necessary. They decided to meet in the middle of the city where a lot of people could have eyes on them.

Hunk sat two shops down in an outside seat. If Keith felt like he needed help, all he had to do was give him a sign and he would be over there in two steps. He didn’t think that it was necessary since this part of town was always busy, but Hunk wanted them to be cautious.

An hour past their meeting time passed. Then two hours. When it was close to the third hour, Keith was ready to give up. He didn’t understand why he waited this long to decide to leave.

Slamming his hands on the table, he stood up. He’s had enough of waiting and he wasn’t going to be swayed to stay any longer. Not by Hunk. Not by a last minute text from Shiro. Nothing.

“ _Keith_ …”

It was the voice that told him he was here. Keith stared at the man, trying to calm the beating of his heart and the clench of his stomach. Shiro stood before him as a mass of muscles, his chest rising and falling as he breathed hard. This was him. This was what he looked like and he was _gorgeous_.

Keith crossed his arms and looked away. “You’re late.”

Shiro smiled. “Am I late if I was _technically_ in that coffee shop across the street, watching you and gaining courage to come and talk to you?”

He closed his eyes, tapping his finger against his arm. “That’s not creepy at all…”

“It is and I’m sorry. … Can I make it up to you?”

Keith opened his eyes. “And how do you plan on doing that?”

The press of Shiro’s lips against his had him gasping. His knees buckled and he was eased back into his seat. Only his dreams could prepare him for this and they did a terrible job at it. Kissing him felt like a fresh spring day, the breeze blowing through the cold winter air and filling his lungs. Sparks of the first fireworks of the summer season exploded in his stomach, making a fizzy and pleasant feeling.

It felt so good, that Keith almost forgot to wave to Hunk, letting him know that he wasn’t under attack. He didn’t want Shiro to be pulled away from him during one of the best moments of his life.

They pulled apart and Keith gasped. He stared at Shiro’s flushed face, looking between his eyes and his spit slicked lips. “That was…” Keith started, trying to regain his breathing.

“Amazing,” Shiro finished. He moved down to kneel before him, his hands grasping Keith’s. “Let me treat you to dinner. It’s the least I can do for making you wait this long. We can eat and… maybe get to know each other more?”

Keith bit his lip and looked further down the line of shops. Hunk stared at them from behind his shades, a frown on his face as if he was gauging whether or not Keith was all right with Shiro. “Sure… But I have to tell my chaperone that I’ll be okay on my own with you.”

Shiro looked over his own shoulder and chuckled. “I should tell my own chaperone the same thing.”

Keith pretended that he didn’t see someone who looked like Pidge across the way.

* * *

Not even Keith treated himself to such a fancy restaurant as this. Shiro took him to a place where he felt out of place. It wasn’t _too_ fancy that Keith needed a suit, but he still felt it. He was asked if he wanted to go elsewhere, but the items on the menu looked too good to pass up. Two sets of delicious food and a bottle of wine and they were a little loose with each other. 

Keith learned that Shiro was a substitute teacher at a college clear across town. He’s only had one significant other and they dated for two years before they broke up. He’s also adopted by a family who have been friends of his family’s for years before their tragic accident. They didn’t bring up Keith’s shows or what happened between them. It didn’t feel like the time to bring it up. They were just as comfortable getting to know one another in a more simpler way.

They couldn’t avoid it forever, though. Keith had heard Shiro’s side of things and it was fair for him to know his side. Shiro hadn’t brought it up, meaning that it was up to him to decide when to say it. What better time than now, in the middle of a crowded restaurant?

Keith reached over and touched Shiro’s hand. Shiro turned his palm up and held on to him. He gave him a comforting squeeze and his heart stopped hammering in his chest. Keith could do this. He could do this for _Shiro_.

“I need to tell you why I ended our private shows…” Keith started.

He looked up at Shiro, who was looking around at the restaurant. “Are you sure that you want to discuss this here? We can go somewhere else, if you want.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t think anyone is zoning in on our conversation. Besides, at least if I tell you here, I can just do the walk of shame back to my apartment or to a friend’s place.”

Shiro smiled at him. “I’m not going to let you do the ‘walk of shame’, Keith. If you’re comfortable with this, then I’m ready to listen.”

Keith felt his heart flutter at how kind Shiro was. With his free hand, he tucked a piece of hair behind his ear. “I said I was getting too deep in my head with our shows, and it’s true. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. You were the only way I could get off during my other performances. And I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t let it continue like that…

“I…” Realizing how sweaty his palm was getting, Keith pulled it back and rubbed it on his pants leg. “I like you. I like you more than I think I should? At first I thought, ‘hey, this is just an attraction because he’s making it rain money on me’, but then I realized that wasn’t it. I just liked you for being you. Your voice, how you asked how I was before we started, and so many other things about you.”

Keith was breathless by the end of it. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked everywhere but at Shiro. His hand was caught by Shiro’s and he finally looked at him. He moved closer to Keith and brought the tips of his fingers to his lips.

See? Who _does_ romantic things like this? Who brought the person they gave money to, and watched as they got off, to a restaurant? Who brought their hand to be kissed and looked at them like a solar eclipse was happening right before their eyes?

Shiro, apparently.

“I wish you told me this sooner,” Shiro finally said. Keith looked away from him, trying to hide his red face behind his hair. “Maybe… maybe things wouldn’t have played out the way they did. Then again, neither of us could have known how we felt for each other.”

“How bad would that have sounded to anyone else, though? A patron finding out that someone in my profession had feelings for them?” Keith asked. “There’s always a chance of being taken advantage of.”

Shiro looked sad. He ran his thumb across the back of Keith’s hand. “Did you think I would have done that to you?”

“You can never be too careful.” The words burned at the back of his throat. Keith didn’t think that Shiro would have done that. He was too sweet, too caring and thoughtful for that. But he wasn’t in this to catch feelings for people behind screens. Keith was in this to make sure he survived.

He nodded his head slowly, accepting of Keith’s answer. It’s not like he could say anything that would change his mind.

They sat in silence for some time. Shiro didn’t let go of his hand and Keith didn’t want him to let go. He didn’t know what would happen after this. He didn’t know what Shiro would say or what _he_ would say. The space between them was only mere inches, but it felt like a fissure and they stood at the edge on their tiptoes. Their interlaced hands could either push each other away or they could fall down together and make something wonderful to fill the crack.

Keith would be lying if he said he didn’t want that to happen. He _liked_ Shiro. He liked him more than he would admit to Hunk or even to Shiro, himself. But he wanted him to know. Keith wanted him to know more than anything else in the world.

But clearly nothing was going to happen if Keith didn’t make the first move. And he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He just… couldn’t.

He tucked a piece of hair behind his ear. “I should go and get home. My friend is probably waiting for me.”

“Let me give you a ride?” Shiro asked.

Keith found himself lost in Shiro’s eyes. The way they sparkled in the low light of the restaurant. He could look in his eyes for hours and he didn’t notice when he replied, “Yes.”

The drive home was quiet and it gave Keith time to process everything. A plan brewed in the back of his mind during that dinner. It bubbled quietly until it grew so hot it boiled over, spilling it’s contents over his emotions until he agreed with it.

This was _crazy_. It was crazy and he was ridiculous for agreeing with it. If Shiro was a killer, he would have killed Keith by now. If he waited until he had Keith alone in his apartment, then he hoped it was beneath Shiro while being choked.

So, he didn’t stop Shiro from walking him directly to his door on the sixth floor, _way_ in the back where the light bulb was flickering with its last breath of life.

Keith stood facing Shiro, twirling his keys around his fingers. Shiro had his hands in the pocket of his coat. He wished he could read his body language. Was he hoping for something? Did he just want to make sure that Keith got inside safely? The torture of not knowing was _killing_ him.

 _Just take the plunge, Keith_. _Take the plunge and if there’s no safety net waiting for you, at least Hunk would be there to pick up the fragile pieces and put them together._

Stepping closer to Shiro was like stepping over the fissure, balancing precariously on both edges. Keith wrapped his arms around his neck and shoulders. He couldn’t bring himself to ask him to come inside. Those words stuck in his throat and expanded, constricting his breathing and making it ache. He hoped for Shiro to understand; he hoped for Shiro to pull him over the crack and hold him close.

The moment Shiro wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him closer, Keith melted like snow on heated flesh. Their lips met and this time it was fireworks. Fireworks that burst colors and vibrations through his body until his knees buckled. Shiro kept a firm grip on him, pulling him even closer when he thought he would plummet to the ground.

“Are you sure about this?” Shiro asked, his breath hot against his lips. “Are you absolutely sure about _this_?”

Keith pushed Shiro away and worked on unlocking his door. His hands fumbled with the lock when Shiro pulled back his scarf and kissed the back of his neck. “I would be even more sure if you’d stop kissing my neck and let me do this.”

Shiro chuckled, but he stepped back and waited for Keith to unlock the door. When he opened it, it slammed against the wall and he cringed. Keith took his hand and pulled Shiro into the apartment.

Lips were on his neck once more and he wanted to melt into the touch. Shiro’s hands on his hips was everything he had ever imagined. His jacket and scarf fell off his body and Keith let out a small gasp when Shiro’s fingers went up his shirt to touch his stomach.

This was happening and he felt the lingering remains of his dreams flow through him. He loathed to ruin it in any sort of way. “Let’s head to the bedroom…”

Shiro wrapped an arm around his waist and lifted him up, hooking another arm beneath his legs. _Oh shit_ , he was strong. He was strong and Keith had become putty in his hands. He could fuck him against a wall until he had a concussion. _Shit_ , he wanted that to happen.

Shiro dropped him on the bed and stood before him. He had a hand covering his mouth as he stared down at Keith. His face was red and he still wore his jacket. Keith wished he could read his mind.

“Are we really going to do this? I need to know now, Keith, before you… see things,” Shiro said, his voice shaking.

Keith’s brow furrowed, but he didn’t question it any further. He sat up and pulled Shiro in closer by his hips. “I’ve dreamed about this happening. I haven’t wanted anything more than this.” At Shiro’s touched expression, he smirked. “Well, except for that new Yamaha motorcycle that I’ve had my eye on for _quite_ some time.”

The feral growl Shiro let out had Keith keening as he climbed up his body, pinning him down. He left open mouth kisses on his neck. His teeth sunk into his flesh and Keith froze. It felt so _good_. His hands tugged at Shiro’s coat, urging him to take it off. Shiro reared back and tossed it to the other side of the room.

“Why are you wearing so much _clothing_?” Keith asked, motioning to Shiro’s sweater.

“It was cold. I dressed in layers.” Still, he grabbed the hem of his sweater and pulled it off, his gray undershirt rising up.

Keith’s breath caught in his throat as he looked Shiro over. He understood now what he meant. His metal arm gleamed in the low light of the room. This whole time, Keith thought he wore a driving glove, but that was far from the case. He sat up and ran his hand up and down the piece. He turned it this way and that, taking it all in.

“Is it too much? With the scars, the hair, and… everything else about me?”

He looked up at him, staring right into his eyes. Keith scooted further back on the bed and pulled his shirt over his head. “I want you more now.”

Shiro lay on top of him, taking hold of his hips and pulling him in closer. Keith dug his fingers into his shoulders, tossing his head back. He wrapped his legs around his waist and ground against him. Shiro’s hands went up his sides and teased at his binder, the tip of his thumbs slipping just underneath it.

“Let me know if this is okay…”

Keith nodded his head so hard he feared his head would fall off his shoulders. The binder’s gone, but he still can’t breath. Because Shiro is sucking the air out of his lungs, kissing him until he’s lightheaded. Their clothes flew across the room, landing on various pieces of furniture. He’s been naked for him plenty of times before, but Keith felt more exposed than ever before.

Shiro sat back on his knees, looking over him as he ran his hands up and down Keith’s thighs. “You’re beautiful. I never thought I would get to do this. There’s so many things I’ve wanted to do to you…”

“Like what?” Keith asked.

Keith only caught a glimpse of a smirk before Shiro’s in between his legs, the tip of his tongue teasing his enlarged clit. He ran his fingers through his hair as Shiro ate him out. He didn’t want him to stop. His hips rolled against his face every time his tongue dipped inside Keith’s cunt. He wanted Shiro to keep going until his jaw ached.

Shiro brought a hand up and pushed a digit inside him. Another finger in and Keith reached down and grabbed at his fringe, trying to pull him closer. This was so good. So _fucking_ good and he wished he could formulate the right way to explain it. Keith was a mess of jumbled words that made no sense to his own ears.

But Shiro only worked him closer to the end, eating him out as if he made a New Year’s resolution to make him cum from his mouth alone.

When Keith did, his scream made his throat raw and his back arched off the bed. He squirted in Shiro’s mouth which only made him work harder until his body twitched from his overloaded senses.

“Shiro, I’m going to d-die if you keep this up…” Keith whispered, unable to raise his voice any higher.

He chuckled, pulling away with a dripping chin. “What a way to die, though, right?” Shiro asked. He pressed his cheek against Keith’s thigh, looking up at him with hazy eyes, his pupils blown out wide.

“Man, I can’t deny that…” Keith rose to his elbows and looked at him. “Let me return the favor.”

Shiro kissed up his body, stopping to swirl his tongue around his nipple, until they were face to face. He reached down between them and grabbed his dick, running the head between Keith’s slick folds. The tip caught against his hole and they both gasped. It would be so easy for Shiro to push into him and fuck him _raw_ . Keith _wanted_ him to. He wanted to feel each and every inch of Shiro raw inside him.

Hooking his hands behind his knees, Shiro brought Keith’s legs together and fucked into his thighs. Keith bunched up the sheets up in his hands. He bucked into Shiro’s thrusts, moaning loudly every time the head of his cock brushed against his clit. His thrusts were rough and fast, the sound of skin slapping against skin drowning out his moans.

“This isn’t--oh, _fuck_ \--what I had in _mind_ ,” Keith moaned, pressing his head against the bed.

“Hah… I know it isn’t, baby,” Shiro started, squeezing Keith’s thighs together harder, “but I couldn’t pass this up. I’d regret it for the rest of my life if I didn’t…”

Keith ignored the clenching feeling of his heart and grabbed Shiro’s wrist. He eased him to lay down on the bed and he straddled his hips. He moved his hips against his, his cock sliding against him. Before Shiro could grab him, he moved down his body.

“We have time for all that. Let’s just take it slow.”

“Keith…” Shiro choked on a moan when Keith swallowed his cock whole. He reached up and tangled his fingers in his hair, unable to control the small thrusts of his hips. “Holy _shit_ …”

He didn’t stall in sucking Shiro off. Keith sucked him hard and long, bobbing his head up and down his cock. He soaked in the way he grunted above him, the sound filling his ears and sending chills down his spine. Shiro sounded so much better in person than he did through his speakers. Pulling back, he swirled his tongue around the head.

Shiro tightened his grip in his hair. “If this is your diabolical way for revenge, you won. I concede.” he said around a breathy chuckle. He moved to cup Keith’s cheek. “I need you now…”

Keith loved the way he sounded. How his voice got rough with desperation, the way his chest rose and fell, and how his dick twitched. He kissed along Shiro’s jawline up to his ear. “Give it to me, then…”

His mind ran wild and his heart hammered in his chest when Shiro pushed him onto his back. Keith wished his body wasn’t shaking the way it was. He wished that he was more calm about this. It was just sex and he’s had sex before. He’s touched himself in front of hundreds of viewers but this is what’s making him feel like a virgin again. Every time Shiro looked at him, his eyes roaming over his body, he felt like it’s the first time he’s ever done this.

Keith fought the urge to curl in on himself as he watched Shiro climb off the bed to rummage around the floor. His heart hammered in his chest and he put a hand over it, hoping to will it to be calm. It had a mind of its own and grew worse when Shiro stood up, condom in hand.

“Don’t you think you should have grabbed that before we shed our clothes?” Keith teased, smirking at him.

Shiro laughed. “Maybe, but you distracted me. … You do that a lot, you know…”

And there went Keith’s heart again, hitting his ribcage with a battering ram. His face felt hot and his breathing became erratic, his chest rising and falling. Shiro couldn’t keep doing things like this to him. He would end up in the hospital with how his heart was overworking itself.

“Are you alright?” Shiro asked. He had a hand on Keith’s calf, his touch light and gentle. He didn’t move it up or put more pressure on him. He simply… waited for an appropriate response from Keith. “Do we need to stop?”

Keith couldn’t imagine stopping; not now and not ever. He wanted Shiro and he’s wanted him for so long. If he passed this chance up, he might never get another one and he couldn’t let that happen. He just _couldn’t_.

“Just… just give me a minute…” Keith whispered. He raised his arm and covered his eyes. _God_ , he felt so foolish acting like this. “I’m sorry. I’m just so… nervous…”

Shiro gave his calf a comforting squeeze. “Can you sit up for me?”

He mulled it over in his head for a moment. When he sat up, Shiro took his hand and brought it to his chest. Keith traced a scar with the tip of his finger, feeling his heart beneath his palm. It thumped against his hand, almost in sync with his own.

“I’m nervous, too. I’ve never done anything like this on a whim; it’s always been planned.” Shiro brought his hand up to his lip sand kissed his palm. “But I want this and I want you.”

Keith didn’t have any words to say to him. He reached up and cupped his jaw, pulling him down into a kiss. He fell back and waited for him, running a hand through his hair. Shiro pressed a knee to the bed and ripped the condom open. He licked his lips as his eyes wandered up Keith’s body, locking their gaze together as he slipped it on.

“Last time, Keith: are you still sure about this?” he asked, putting a hand on Keith’s knee.

He didn’t hesitate to answer this time around. Keith nodded his head and spread his legs wide, ready to accept Shiro.

Shiro crawled up his body, leaving a kiss here and there in his wake. He pressed a kiss against his temple and exhaled hard. It made Keith feel a small bit at ease knowing that he wasn’t the only one nervous. He closed his eyes as Shiro moved a hand between them, grabbing his dick to run it up and down him.

The first push in him blanked Keith’s mind from all his focus and his anxiety. Shiro stretched him open a pleasant way that had his body humming. When he attempted to slow down, Keith dug his nails into his shoulder blades, urging him to keep going until he was full. Their hips flushed together and Keith’s jaw dropped.

“H-holy shit…”

“You okay...?” Shiro asked, pressing his face into his hair.

“Move…” Keith ordered. He ran his fingers through Shiro’s hair and pulled him away. “Move right now or I’ll start riding you until your dick is sore.”

Shiro chuckled, lowering his head to bury his face into Keith’s neck. “I can’t deny you anything.”

A roll of his hips and Keith’s vision went white. Shiro moved against him, his thrusts slow and steady. Every push inside had him gasping. He couldn’t speak, he could hardly breath it felt so good. Shiro gripped his legs and wrapped them around his waist. It took all his strength to keep them there, trying to roll back into his thrusts and get a harder pace from him.

Keith dug his nails into Shiro’s shoulders. “Please… Please, I need more. S-so much more…”

Rising to his knees, Shiro grabbed his hips and _pulled_ him into his quickening pace. Keith found his voice again as he slammed into him. He keened and moaned, nails digging into the sheets. His words were a jumbled mess, pleading for more and telling Shiro how good it felt. This is what he’s been imagining. This is what he’s been hoping to happen since shortly after their private shows began.

Shiro hooked his arms beneath Keith’s knees and _bent_ him in half, fucking into him with force. Keith bit his lip, focusing on the push and pull of the cock inside him. He shuddered as kisses pressed against the side of his face. This was more than just a simple fuck between two people who were infatuated with each other. The truth slipped out of Keith’s grasp when Shiro pushed _deep_ inside him.

“Are you ready to ride me now, baby?” Shiro asked, holding on to Keith’s shaking legs.

Keith couldn’t recall giving an answer, but he was straddling Shiro’s hips before he knew it. Hands were on him, easing him up and down until he moved on his own. He had one hand on Shiro’s thigh, the other on his abs as he worked his way up and down Shiro’s cock.

“That’s right, baby,” Shiro started, running his hand up Keith’s arm, “keep going for me. You look so beautiful riding my cock like this.”

“Shiro--”

He wished he could say the right words for this. For how good he felt and how good Shiro felt inside him. The way he thrust up into him as Keith slammed down, creating a friction that’s all their own, a way of moving that’s borderline poetic to them. He ground down on him, eating up the way Shiro moaned. He decided that he liked the way he sound in person. There’s another decision that his subconscious made and he found that he agreed with it.

Keith leaned forward and cupped Shiro’s face. He kissed his scar, his thumbs stroking his high cheekbones. “I’m about to ask something really selfish from you…”

Shiro squeezed his hips but he didn’t look away from him. It was like he was transfixed on the vision before him, unsure if it was real or not. “Ask me anything.”

“Stay with me.” He said it so quietly that even Keith isn’t sure if he really said it or not. He’s not sure if the words came out or if he said it in his head, unable to bring himself to utter them.

The way Shiro gasped had his heart fluttering with hope and he wanted it to stop. Because a negative answer could come at any moment and crush it.

Shiro sat up and wrapped his arm around Keith’s waist, the prosthetic surprisingly cool against his heated flesh. His thrusts were slow, Keith bouncing in his lap to quicken the pace until he tightened his grip. “I’ve _always_ wanted to stay, Keith. Always...”

The dam inside Keith broke and flooded him with a warm feeling, starting from his heart and spreading throughout his body. He pulled Shiro into a kiss, urging  him, _wanting_ him to do more before the feeling dies. Shiro listened to his silent plea and stood up.

Keith bounced on the bed when his back hit it but he wasn’t in that position for long. Shiro’s hands were on him, tossing onto his hands and knees. He braced himself for what was going to happen but it still managed to take him by surprise. A metal hand pressed into the back of his head and pinned him down.

Shiro’s dicked rubbed against him, teasing him with just the tip. “Tell me how much you want it, baby.”

He pounded his fist against the bed. Keith could feel how his body spasmed, his cunt aching to have Shiro in him again. “I need you so badly, babe.” He moaned, trying to thrust further onto his cock until Shiro squeezed at his hip. “Since I saw how big your cock was, since I saw how _good_ your body looked… Fuck… No, when I heard your _voice_ I knew I needed you inside me…”

There’s a feral growl that had Keith moaning. Shiro thrust into him and that alone had him cumming around his dick. His body shook and he pushed back against him. There was no waiting for Keith to come down from his orgasmic high. Shiro fucked into him. He fucked into him hard and fast, his mind wiped clean of all thought like a hard drive.

“You look so beautiful like this,” Shiro said. He pressed his hips flat against Keith’s, giving him a chance to catch his breath. “I’d have wet dreams of you like this, bent over the bed and clenching around my cock.”

Keith chuckled. “I wonder how many boxers you ruined from dreams like that, hm?”

Shiro bent over him and bit his neck. “Don’t make me gag you and cut off that pretty voice of yours. I wanna hear you moan and cry out my name. … I’ll save gagging for another night.”

“Is that a promise?” Keith asked, doing his best to look Shiro in the eye.

“Only if you behave.”

“And if I don’t?”

He chuckled. “You already cummed. I can’t threaten you with keeping you from doing so.”

Keith licked his lips. He could see it clearly. Shiro keeping him from coming over and over again until he thought he would break. “Next time?”

“I promise.”

Shiro went back to his relenting pace as if their conversation never happened. Keith pushed back against him. He loved every second of this. He loved every second of Shiro fucking him into a stupor until he couldn’t remember his own name. His cold metal hand moved to Keith’s shoulder and hoisted him up, pressing his back against his chest.

Hands ran up and down his sides and Keith could feel how close he was. How close he was to tripping over the edge a second time that night. Oh, it felt so _good_. So _fucking good_ and he didn’t want it to stop. He didn’t want it to stop and he wanted Shiro to fuck him into his mattress so hard that there wasn’t a chance to breath.

“Sh-Shiro... holy _shit_ …!”

“Me too, baby,” Shiro said into his ear. He moved his hand down to his clit, tweaking it _hard_. “Cum for me…”

The second orgasm that wracked his body was like an earthquake. Keith’s jaw dropped and his own voice sounded alien to himself. He clenched around Shiro, who continuously pounded into him until he reached that level of bliss himself.

They fell forward as a mess of limbs and sweat. Shiro gave little love bites to the back of his neck as they calmed down, their hearts slowing to a normal pace. Keith pushed against Shiro to change their positions. They laid down with Keith’s head on his chest, letting Shiro run his fingers through his hair.

When Keith looked up at him and received a smile, there was no doubts in his mind that they could make this work.

**Author's Note:**

> alternately, keith brings shiro's into his shows. yeah, he has shiro tied up and blindfolded while he rides his face. shiro's not in them all the time, but when he is? oh boy.
> 
> i hoped you all liked it. hit me up on [twitter](https://twitter.com/perversionsao3). ♥


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